Curve Balls and Back Doors
Heavenly Father has got to have one crazy sense of humor. It's either that, or I'm just a complete goon that has yet to wake up and smell the sulfur. One thing's for sure; I definitely like the spiritual climate a lot better when I'm not surrounded by pitch forks.I do think that Father has plenty of good laughs because of us, or at least he does me. I don't mean that cynically or disrespectfully. I look at my kids and have to laugh at their persistence in failure—not because I'm completely mental, but because I know that they're going to figure things out soon enough. The last thing they need from me is constant butting in to try and fix things (even though that is what I usually do). They need love, instruction, patience, and a kind listening ear.
That is my "duh" moment for the day (or life time). All these years of wondering why none of my life plans have panned out in the ways that I had hoped was simply time wasted on self pity and fear. The reality is that Father has been silently rolling his eyes and waiting for me to get with the program. Thankfully his understanding of my needs is perfect. With every perceived curve ball life has thrown at me, he has opened up back doors to the blessings that were always there waiting for me as long as I remained faithful.
My problem has been the procrastination of being worthy enough to receive all these blessings, hence the need for more back doors. I just hope that I don't push my luck too far and turn heavenly chuckles at my idiocy into a valid lament for my soul. Definitely not something I want to merit, ever.
So, some of the really cool back doors that have opened up for me lately are what have caused me to wax sarcastic with myself and paint such a tongue-in-cheek picture of Heavenly Father's character. I quote Inigo from the Princess Bride when he said to Wesley, "Let me 'splain. No, there is too much. Let me sum up…"
First, my major sob story of the last 3+ years has finally (I know!) started its way to resolution. After receiving inspiration from a good old friend (thanks Levy) that got me thinking about my career options in a new light, I've seen why the Lord turned me from my initial courses of Psychology and teaching seminary to where I currently stand. And I've gained insight into what I can do incorporate my passions with my stewardships (provider, husband, father, etc) without having to have some magical right answer for everything. Sure the Lord cares about what I do, but in my case he wants me to stop setting limitations on what I will/can do and instead focus on the why, who, and how. Though I may have already figured that one out a while ago, I have a hard time applying what I know. Thankfully I have a new focus and determination that have me excited about the future and life's possibilities.
Second, on Saturday I had the distinct and immense pleasure of running into a wonderful old friend from my favorite mission city of Divinopolis, MG, Brazil. Ana Paula Evangelista and her family were some of the sweetest people that I had the pleasure of knowing on my mission. Unfortunately, like most everyone from my mission, I've been completely terrible at maintaining contact. As she called my name from behind me as I was going up the escalators at the Gateway Mall in SLC, I looked back and saw her standing at the bottom waving to me. I've never had the chance to run against an escalator before (it's kinda hard), but I didn't even hesitate to do so as I recognized her face. We embraced for the first time (missionaries can only shake girl's hands) and just laughed for joy. I seriously never thought that I would see her or her sisters again, not to mention ever get to hug them. It was perfect! Now I'm back in contact with all of them and can't wait to catch up with them and how life has treated them these past years. Such a sweet reunion and a most wonderful blessing from a loving Father.
The Lord really does move in mysterious ways. Be it a twist of fate, a chance meeting, a passing thought, or complete serendipity, miracle is still the only word that adequately describes it all.
