What are you afraid of?

What are you afraid of?

I'm a firm believer that the vast majority of people (minus verified, clinical phobics) aren't so much afraid of things that could happen to them, or even to those they love. What people are really afraid of is truth — not just some truth or someone else' version of the truth, but all truth, even when the truth is just in the eye of the beholder.

Why?

Because really wanting and accepting truth means constantly having to challenge your beliefs — or at least be willing to challenge them — including beliefs about life, God, politics, and (most importantly) SELF. This ultimately results in cognitive dissonance = a state of consciousness that is so strong and all-encompassing that it forces you into one of two choices:

1) Accept the new truth (hard to do) and change your behaviors to align with the newly accepted truth (harder still).
2) Reject the new truth in favor of previous perceptions of truth — or more correctly because modifying behavior is too difficult or painful — which actually causes a subconscious modification of beliefs and/or behaviors anyway.

• Rejection requires renewed reconciliation with and reinforcement of existing beliefs (typically done subconsciously or mostly subconsciously) so as to drown out any leftover dissonance with the new truth (ex: drugs aren't that bad, global warming really is crap, etc.).
• This idea reinforcement in turn leads to behavioral reinforcement, realized in the deepening of associated behavior patterns (ex: increased drug use, increased activity or affiliation with a political party or ideology, etc.) and/or assimilation of additional behaviors and activities that support the belief (ex: signing a petition, joining a movement, seeking out like-minded friends, etc.); or by ignoring, shunning, or actively fighting against the new truth.

Why then wouldn't I say that people actually fear change?

Because change is just the requirement or end-product of truth, and this because truth is a principle of agency. Sure, someone may say they want to know the truth, but deep down they don't really want to have anything to do with it. They fear the consequences of truth — which is why there are so many counterfeit truths being spun every day, each attempting to confuse, frustrate, pacify, or blind us.

So, the question now is What are you afraid of?

Down on the Upside

Down on the Upside

I've been stuck not knowing how to describe how I've been feeling as of late, so I thought I would steal the title of Soundgarden's final studio album as my closest approximation. Besides the fact that I enjoy much of Soundgarden's musical repertoire, "down on the upside" is where I hope I've come to in this current phase of my life.

My apologies if this sounds depressing or out of character to some. All of us go through waves of good times and bad. I just happen to be a little more of a music geek, making it quite second nature for me to interject various song titles and/or lyrics as descriptions of my state-of-being.

So, for the very few of you that actually read my blog (hooray for Kristen and Jenny!), here's what I mean by down on the upside. I'm hoping that I've finally reached the bottom of my most recent frustrations with myself and life, and that I'm now looking upside the next climb in front of me. It's better to be at the bottom of the hill and looking up than still near the halfway point of a painful fall.

My apologies for that slightly melodramatic explanation.

In all seriousness, I'm frustrated by my own hypocrisy right now. Being your own worst enemy becomes very tiresome and laborious. I look back at my first few posts—filled mostly with insight, hope and purpose—and shudder to think that I'm so not that person right now. I tend to be skilled at summarizing truths within a fairly interesting point of view, but I'm terrible at putting my money where my mouth is. I really hate being a "do as I say, not as I do," kind of guy.

I sincerely appreciate the words of advice and encouragement that I've received from several of you about my post Stuck in Limbo, and Not Alone. Kudos to Jenny for winning the home-cooked, gourmet meal made by me award. Too bad you live in Cedar City. :) But I think that I'm going to reach out to you faithful few readers again and beg your thoughts on how you brush yourselves off after a painful fall. I won't promise another meal, though. My food budget is already shot after trying to feed my monster-of-a-15-month-old son.

Please - I'm tired of being a hypocrite.